I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
