i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
