At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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