you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
