mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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