i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
