just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
