I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I could fuck to npr.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
