What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
