Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
