just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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