Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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