Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
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