I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
