fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
