I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize
