So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
