she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
