now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
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