Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
