I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
