I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
