you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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