why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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