i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
