We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
someone owes me an orgasm
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
