playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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