oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
