You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
