I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
