we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
