I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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