why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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