problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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