im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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