Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
