i jhust puked up my retainher.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
