Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
