Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
