YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
