I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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