I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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