I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
