Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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