Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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