i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
