You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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