i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
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