wat bout pragnant strippers??
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
