in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
