found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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