He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
