After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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