Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize