I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
