I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
