I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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