I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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