I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
