We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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